"I Am The Resurrection and the Life"

Mrs. Rao and I... Friends

As a boy growing up in Lewisdale in the 70s, I had the opportunity to meet one of the finest families I have ever known, The Rao Family. Sam, and by extention Julia and Alice, became my best friend. I have only a few memories of the little house on Chapman Road. I remember the first time I entered that hallowed abode. I immediately sensed respect and things proper. Later, there were teenage antics in the family's second car, the Nova. Although our beginnings were humble back in Hyattsville, warm memories flood back back as I contemplate the innocence of childhood and the passage of time. Those are my roots, and the Raos are like my family.

Sam and I actually met at John Nevins Andrews Elementary School in Takoma Park in the 1st grade in what must have been about 1971. He is my dearest friend of 38 years. I remember finding out in school that he lived just down the street from me. Or was it down the street that I found out he went to the same school as me? Our first grade teacher was Mrs. Dart, and as the years rolled on, we became buddies and would share a lot of laughs. However, unlike some of us nameless wunderkinds, Samuel Rao always got his work done, and I observed the reverence he had toward his mother, Mrs. Rao. His father, Mr. Rao, worked in the hotel industry in Washington, and usually worked 2 full-time jobs as I remember. What respect I had for that man. He just put his shoulder to the wheel and pushed... for decades.

Soon, we moved to Carroll Avenue in Takoma Park, just a few blocks from my grandparents and their tailor shop on Flower Avenue. It was a great time to live in Takoma Park. Meanwhile, my sister and Sam's sister (Denise and Julia, respectively) became very good friends. Alice was a bit younger in those days, so she usually watched us all and took notes. Once we got to high school, things revved up a bit. Sam had the Nova while I was waiting until age 17 to drive. My dad had his reasons I am sure. But when the Raos moved up New Hampshire Avenue to Lear Lane, the fun really began.

My high school memories are of spending the weekends at Sam's. We would play tennis, get Big Gulps at 7-11, eat cheeseburgers at McDonald's, watch Saturday Night Live, videos, The French Open, Wimbledon, and The U.S. Open religiously. Sometimes we would just sit and watch Sam's parents' 20th century Bollywood stuff! I wish I had studied the language back then.

Then we would play tennis again! Every Sabbath our default was Sam's. Now when I say we, I mean Sam, Ray, Abe, Eric, and myself. These days there would have to be some sort of surcharge for the amount of food Mrs. Rao prepared for us. Plate after plate after plate, she always loved to do it for us. And we always loved her. Besides all sorts of doll (spelling?) and rice, curries, chipatis, and veggies, my favorite was her egg omelettes with hot pepper!

Whenever there was a family function or event, we were automatically invited. There were all kinds of weddings, aunties and uncles arriving from India, grandparents, birthdays, graduations, baby showers, and massive Indian get togethers. It turned out to be a tremendous cultural education that I dearly appreciate to this day, and I now miss. I feel like I am at home in any Indian household, and I owe it all to Mrs. Rao and her family. There is an Indian restaurant that I frequent from time to time here, but I just find myself walking out with a nice taste on my tongue muttering to my wife, "It just can't compare to Mrs. Rao." In those days, we would actually go to Eric's house from time to time to give Mrs. Rao a break, and of course the Barnabas family and food was also phenomenal.

Those years of my youth were so rich in this way. So, I can truly say that I have missed it over the last many years in my self-imposed New England exile!

Now, when I think of the Rao household and the genuine matriarch that Mrs. Rao was, I remember her absolute devotion to her children, particularly Sam. He was the apple of her eye, and he had to be. After all, he was her first-born son! She revered him, and he revered her. It was absolutely amazing to see. Sam modeled the kind of respect a child ought to render their mother. Her commitment to the education of her children was absolute, but her desire to see all her children in the Kingdom of Heaven was always foremost in her thoughts.

As one of her "adopted" sons, I can say that Mrs. Rao had perhaps the highest expectations for her children and their friends of anyone I knew. You were always prepared for her interested questionings on things. I think the fact that we were even permitted in their home showed that she trusted her son and that she loved us very much. Every time I entered the home on Lear Lane, I would begin my visit with a conversation/interview/laughing session with Mrs. Rao. I knew I was loved and wanted in that home. That is something that I will never forget. She was strong as steel, but you always, always felt the love.

As I moved into adulthood, my less frequent visits to the home would regularly cause me to examine myself and see if I was living up to the standard. I mostly wasn't, of course. However, never once did my own struggles and doubts diminish the love I felt from her, nor the respect I had for her. She was always happy to see me, and we always shared together. That was a relationship that I never had with another friend's mother. I don't know why, but I know I could not have been in a better place growing up. I remember that after I gave my heart to the Lord, Mrs. Rao began to somehow regard me a bit differently. She would often ask me to pray for her and her family. It was almost as if I had entered a place where we could meet on the same spiritual plane. We would encourage each other and speak about the joy of the Lord. She was a spiritual warrior!

Then we all started going our own ways and having families. I saw her less and less. But everytime I came back to D.C., I knew the Rao home was a mandatory stop. And it was always like old times, even if Sam wasn't around. It was such a privilege to bring my own wife and children into the Rao home and let them experience the love. The family always loved me, and I always loved them.

I will never forget when she first got sick, she specifically asked me to pray for her. There were several times over the last 15 years when she would call me or send word through Sam that she specifically wanted me to pray for her or something she was concerned about. I cannot express what an honor it was when she would make such requests. There was one day, probably about 3 years ago, when I received an urgent message from Sam that Mrs. Rao had requested me to lift her up in prayer. It was summer time, and I was hammering some 2x4s on my mother-in-law's apartment that day. I remember hanging up the phone with Sam and going right to my knees on the concrete floor in the middle of the mess. It was a privilege to pray for Mrs. Rao.

The last time we visited her, none of her kids were around. It was just Mr. and Mrs. Rao, Valentina, the kids, and I. We had a nice visit. She gave the children some Christmas gifts, and whipped up some Indian food for us to enjoy. I surprised even myself when I was unable to put away more than a plate, because in the old days there was a minimum of three...

Having had such a close relationship with this Godly woman for so many years, it really hurts that I was not able to pay my last respects in person in Maryland as I should have. Circumstances did not permit it. God only knows why. However, I have spent the last few days remembering, ruminating, and enjoying her memory. It has been good for me, so I wanted to share.

I want to thank all the Rao family for allowing me to be a small part of their home legacy for so many years. I know that the experiences I had there in my youth and early adulthood were critical to my own formation as an adult and as a Christian husband and father. So in tribute to her today, I wish to hold up that high standard while living out the love of God in my life toward my family, friends, students, and community, just as Mrs. Rao did.

"Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live."
John 11:25